I've blown a few things in my day
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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