your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
