I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
