i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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