In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
