The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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