worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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