I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
