I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
