i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
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He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
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Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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