I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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