You're my little dorito
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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