maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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