Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
