Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
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