there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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