the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
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Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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