look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
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i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
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Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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