We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Holy sore nipples Batman
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
