Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
