i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
