his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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