I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
