I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
