i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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