He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
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please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
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I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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