He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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