That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She said her name was "party"
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
