You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
