Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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