Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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