swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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