some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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