paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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