Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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