he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
