Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
