Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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