He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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