what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
