i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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