you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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