pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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