guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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