I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
