You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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