Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
