Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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