Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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