There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
