just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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