sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Randomize
