and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
