why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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