Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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