I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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