If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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