Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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