Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
